Letters to Philip: On How To Treat a Woman was one of several books I read while preparing
the father of the bride speech I gave at my youngest daughter’s wedding. This 128-page
book—first published
in 1968—is truly an
oldie-but-goodie. Pastor/counselor Charlie W. Shedd offers tons of wisdom and
insight on building a great marriage. Many of the points, though, are dated and
quaint. A valuable book but unfortunately I doubt many people under 50 would
find it useful.
Best Books for Men
Highlighting quality books that can motivate and equip men to succeed.
I finally read "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Leo Tolstoy - wow!
The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy is a
powerful cautionary tale about the dangers of living your life according to the
dictates of society. Ivan Ilyich grew up climbing the social ladder,
structuring his life according to what was considered proper by the upper echelon
of society. He married his wife because he thought it was time for him to get
married — but she was demanding and their relationship was unpleasant. His
children and his friends were self-absorbed. Outwardly Ivan Ilyich seems to
have led a successful life, achieving promotions and a nice house. But
on his deathbed facing a terminal illness, he comes to the overpowering
realization that his obsession with propriety and decorum had left his life
meaningless and unsatisfying. It’s the kind of intense book that you think
about for days after you finish it. A masterful work. (The length — just
60-plus pages — is a bonus.) Check the price at Amazon here.
I finished reading "Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice From the Best in the World" by Tim Ferriss
Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World by four-time #1 best-selling author Tim Ferriss is fascinating look at how some of the world’s most successful people approach the challenges of life. Ferriss reached out to more than 100 top performers in the world (including writers, athletes, business owners, spiritual leaders, actors, entrepreneurs, investors, and more). Ferriss asked them to answer some version of the same basic 11 questions (some of them answered all of the questions, some answered a couple of them, and some crafted unique responses).
I found myself focusing on the responses to 3
of the questions: what failure set
you up for success later on?; what advice would you give to a smart, driven
college student about to enter the "real world" and what advice
should they ignore?; and, what are bad recommendations you hear in your
profession or area of expertise?
As far as the best advice for young people
about to enter the real world, I really liked what TED curator Chris Anderson
had to say. Anderson said "pursue your passion" is terrible advice
for students about to enter the working world (page 409). What people in their
20s really need, Anderson says, is to work on personal discipline, learning and
growth; the passion will develop in due time. Amen to that! Lots more good tips like that in Tribe of Mentors — plus plenty of
mundane advice as well.
Tribe
of Mentors is a handy, valuable compilation of useful advice from high
achievers across many different walks of life. Truly intriguing to get a glimpse
at how some of these high achievers approach challenges, and sometimes you
might find tips that you can use. Click here to check the price at Amazon.
Larry Norman: the troubled troubadour of Christian rock
Why Should The Devil Have All the Good Music:Larry Norman and the Perils of Christian Rock by Gregory Thornbury is a
fascinating look at a complex figure. With iconic long white-blonde hair,
Norman was the father of Christian rock, and arguably the most consequential
Christian artist of the past 50 years.
Thornbury is a very talented writer, and
it is fortunate he had access to Norman's archives, including handwritten
diaries, journals, photos, studio record logs, passports, plane tickets,
letters, newspaper clippings, as well as tape recordings Norman made of several conversations with his first wife as well as business meetings. (Wait, what, tape recordings?)
Plenty of interesting stuff about the early
days of the Christian rock movement, the ups and downs of Norman’s career and
his marriages, and his fathering of an illegitimate son (more about that below).
It was a little jarring to read about Larry
Norman's continual relationship problems: he barely got along with anybody.
Norman seemed to consistently "derail" relationships throughout his
life, Randy Stonehill once said. That’s putting it mildly. On page 187, Thornbury
writes, “Once close friends, the relationship between Phil Mangano and Larry
Norman began to disintegrate." The same could be said of almost everyone
who entered Larry Norman's orbit, whether through a personal friendship or a
business relationship. Eventually they ended up feeling hurt or manipulated or
betrayed by Norman.
The level of broken relationships in Norman’s
life is far beyond what you would expect from someone who was merely eccentric,
or even a creative genius.
So, what is the explanation? Norman often
blamed his difficulties on a 1978 incident when he was on a United Airlines
flight. Norman said an airplane ceiling panel came loose and struck him on the
head, causing significant physical and mental problems. Yet Phil Mangano was on
that flight, and has said the incident was not that serious.
I wish Thornbury had explored the mental health
angle. There is certainly a solid basis to suspect Norman had mental health
issues: Pam Alquist says in the documentary Fallen Angel: The Outlaw Larry Norman, “Larry told me there was a lot of mental illness in his family and he
wasn’t (mentally ill) because he had Jesus. And yet over the years he had a lot
of idiosyncrasies.”
Norman's career does have similarities with
another musical genius, Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys. Wilson had a long
struggle with drugs and mental illness (schizoaffective disorder), and
experienced significant conflicts with Mike Love and others.
My one major complaint about this book, and the
reason I give it 4 stars instead of 5: I don’t think the book adequately
grappled with the issue of Norman’s illegitimate son. Thornbury plays it coy:
he acknowledges there is anecdotal evidence that Norman had an out of wedlock
son, but since a DNA test was never taken, he won’t say with 100% certainty
that Norman was the father. Come on now, you don't need a DNA test to do the
right thing.
Yet, reading Chapter 13 it seems obvious that Norman
and his sister-in-law Kristin Blix put up roadblocks that made it difficult for
a DNA test to be completed before Norman died—in much the same
way Norman slow-rolled Daniel Amos and the release of their Horrendous Disc
album in the 70s. (Page 197.)
(BTW, after Norman died, journalist Arsenio
Orteza did a pretty thorough accounting of the saga for World
Magazine—including verified emails between Larry and Daniel—here; Daniel’s
mother lays out her side of the story here.)
Larry Norman was troubled soul who spoke
prophetically to the Christian church, even as his personal life was a mess.
Thornbury has written a compelling and engaging book that will make you think. See it at Amazon here.
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